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Posts Tagged ‘Kintsukuroi’

Spirit lead me where my faith is without borders

These lyrics have been haunting me.  I can’t seem to shake them.  We sing these great songs and feel these deep feelings, then we listen to the words.  From the song Oceans by Hillsong United, these lyrics are a pretty intense request of God.  Without borders?  Yikes.  That doesn’t stay within my comfort zone.  Or within my lifestyle desires.  Or within my perceived capacity to life.  But I want it.  I want to want it even more.

The kids and I were discussing this song the other day, talking about true faith, and about how it’s not just a fuzzy feeling on Sunday morning.  It’s not just a “praise God” or “amen.”  It’s about whole-heartedly offering God everything you are.  Everything.  Not a lot of us have this kind of faith.  Heck, my guess is no one does.  Because really, if we even have the “minuscule” faith of a mustard seed, we could move mountains.

The kids came up with a fun challenge: Whoever comes up with another song that means the same thing as that line, they win a donut (we all knew that everyone was going to get a donut anyway, but still, the incentive felt enticing…).  Colby came in first with the hymn “I Surrender All.”  The second was the hymn “Take My Life.”  I thought it interested that both came up with hymns.  It made me grateful for a church that appreciates and sings them.  They are so rich in theology and truth.

When you sing these hymns, do you mean the words you say?

Once upon a time a few years ago, I had the honor of being a table host at a ladies conference.  It was not long after Scott had spent some time in the hospital with his life on the line.  I remember sitting there next to a woman who still had fresh bruises on her arm from having been raped days before.  Yet she was here.  Sitting at my table.  And even more humbling, she was encouraging me by sharing what a testimony it was for her to watch (from afar) Scott’s Saga, exhorting me to hold fast to and live whole-heartedly for Christ.  I think about those moments a lot.  Even more so the last couple of days.

Three days ago her son committed suicide.  It was unexpected and tragic, as I suspect most suicides are.  He was young.  He was handsome and smart.  He had a whole life ahead of him.  And now here she is again, in the trenches of darkness, struggling to find reality amidst the mind-numbing grief.  Here they are again, their marriage being tugged at in new, unbelievably painful ways.  Thankfully she had the mind to ask for help before she drowned.  She will miss her son’s service in doing so, but as she said: “I wish so bad he would have done this.”

She gets to experience faith without borders.  She didn’t ask for it.  She probably doesn’t think she can do this.  She probably can’t.  Instead we all pray fervently on her behalf, for all involved.  We get to practice Galatians 6:2 and carry her load to the Cross when her words and mind may not be available to.  We get to pray for her marriage.  For her family, little and big.  Her load is not light, and can’t be carried alone.

Do not be afraid – I am with you!
Do not dismay – I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will protect you and save you.
I will hold you.
Isaiah 41:10

This type of faith is not for the faint of heart.

If you’re feeling hopeless, and do not see the light, please reach out.  Know that you are not alone.  And know that we all may not know how to help you.  We will fail you.  But don’t give up.  Surrender instead.  Surrender to Christ.  He will give you life.  He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7) and will not fail you.

The Lord is all I have, and so in Him I put my hope. (Lamentations 3:24)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

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